What Did You Just Say?
Everywhere we go people are holding their phones: scrolling, texting, peering downward into the screen. An entire generation will not know of a time when there were no mobile devices accompanying us to every event, meeting and special occasion.
The advantages of this technology are truly hard to measure. So many different types of crises have been lessened in magnitude, or outright averted, because someone was able to respond in real time through their smart device. Conversely however, there are many missed opportunities created by these same handy technological tools.
The primary missed opportunity is clear and intentional communication. Clear and intentional communication is nonnegotiable in the workplace, and in everyday life, yet we are becoming less skilled in this important area.
Being present and paying full attention are two of the cornerstones of effective communication and are also the two areas in which that technology pulls us away from others. Our body language, which is one of the most powerful tools of communication, is saying to others that we are busy, preoccupied, bored and generally not interested in what is being said. This is NOT the message we are trying to communicate.
Facial expressions and eye contact will always be regarded as keys to effective communication. What we do with our arms – whether they are folded, hanging loosely, or slipped into our pockets – communicates a message. When our faces, eyes and hands are turned toward our devices instead of the person we are attempting to communicate with, it creates disconnection.
The instant nature of technology (we can send texts and emails anytime and anywhere) lurs us into thinking we should always pay attention to our devices so that we can take immediate action. This is not always true, however. Immediate action is usually not necessary. Instead, we can make space to ask two vital questions: “Who needs me to be present for them right now?” and, “Am I communicating a message with my body that says I am not present?”
Being an excellent communicator involves being intentional. Intention involves thinking about what a message ought to accomplish before sending it. Just as we often edit our texts before we hit “send” on a text or email, we ought to edit our body language to ensure that we are investing in what the outcome will be.
In the absence of clarity and intention there will be miscommunication. The simplest way to ensure that your communication through body language has the right impact is to slow down and be present.
Latasha Strachan is a speaker, facilitator, and coach. You can reach her at ceibalearning@gmail.com